1. " I promise to always operate my car as long as it continues to function at all, ignoring at all times any loud sounds it might make, vague wandering of the steering, low brake pedal, or any other symptoms of any kind, until the car absolutely will not function - only then will I check any fluid levels, or seek professional service."

2. "I promise to studiously remain an attitude of 'Total Obliviousnous' regarding any symptoms that my car may exhibit, and to strive at all times to be completely unaware of any loud sounds, intense vibrations, or poor performance."

3. " I promise never to lubricate any latch or hinge on any car I drive, and instead, slam the door even harder as the latches and hinges wear out, until my driver's door barely works. I will then curse about what junk this brand of car is."

link to test page